Maybe punished is the wrong word. I felt the need to be hurt. To put me back into the headspace. To remind me who I was and what I was. I needed to be beaten. Maybe that’s what they mean by “maintenance spankings”?
Master-Sir wasn’t sure what I was asking for, but He thought about it and agreed. He liked the idea of me having my ass beat red while tied to the post in the garage.
He was in the kitchen, at the bar, reading the news, when he ordered me to get Him a fresh cup of coffee, then to stand in the corner and show Him my ass. That means I am nose to the wall in the corner, legs spread, and both hands pulling my fat butt cheeks apart. Open to anyone who looked. Even if it was just my Owner, I was exposed.
He kept me there while drinking His coffee, reading, and ignoring me. I was starting to feel emotional. I wanted to cry from being left alone and ignored, but I held out.
Finally, I heard, “Bitch, garage.” I moved quickly to the garage and the tall, well-used wood post we use for beatings and other kinky things. It has rings on top, halfway down, and at the bottom.
As he finds the wrist cuffs and the ropes to tie me with, he has yet to say anything or talk to me. Just order me to move as He needs me to tie my hands above my head and to the top ring in the post.
I see the wooden paddle I requested, knowing I can not move. I start to shake. I know I wanted it; I even told Him what paddle I wanted to be used on me. But now that I see it and know what He will do with it. I wanted to change my mind!
“Bitch slave, you will count each paddle, then answer my question. Understood?” I think I started to cry as I told Him that I understood.
“Stick your ass out so I can hit it better. Then tell me who you are.” The first strike was dead center of my ass. It hurt; I jumped and yelled. . “One, Master-Sir. I am Bitch slave”
“What are you” strike two. Thank You, Master Sir. I am your slave.”
After each question, I felt the pain, but also felt the release of the fears and the struggles that I have been having the last two months or so. I have been having with myself.
His questions, like “Who do you belong to?” What can I do to you or with you? (anything he wants) are His limits (none), what are my limits? (everything without His permission)
He went body part by body part to remind me that everything I am or want to be, is for Him to own, control, use, abuse, and care for. Yes, I know, beating a woman till she is crying to stop doesn’t sound like love, but in my world, that’s exactly what it is.
But I don’t see myself as a woman. Women have freedoms; they can make decisions, and they can love who they want when they want. I’m not that, and I don’t want to be that.
I see myself as a piece of loving property. That step above (or below) a slave. Nothing more. I live for His pleasures only. Thats what I want to be for Him.
Each slap of the paddle was counted out loud then I had to answer His question, or i would suffer another strike. This is what I asked for, and it is what he delivered.
After it was all done, I was an emotional mess. But I was happy as He held me in His arms, wrapped me in a blanket, and let me cry my eyes out. He held me. I kept apologizing for failing Him, and He kept telling me I wasn’t failing Him. But I felt I was, and I needed THIS to bring me back into my proper place physically, emotionally, and mentally.
It worked. After i was able to talk normally, He turned me over and fucked me hard and rough. My ass was already on fire, so it was even more painful. He didn’t care as i screamed from the pain. But that’s what I needed. To know I am not in charge, I have no choices or allowed to make any decisions, that I live for him.
The feeling of Him fucking my already burning ass as He pulled on my hair, pulling my head back, was not pleasurable for me, but I know He enjoyed it because he kept telling me this was for HIS pleasure only. And I verbally agreed with him.
After he had cum and I sucked His cock clean, He wrapped us on the floor in a blanket. Enjoy some cold water and a warm blanket. He let me cry as I shook. I need to let all that anger and energy out. He never said a word while I did that. I was on a pain-filled high that made me remember that I was there because of Him and for Him
That night, I was allowed to sleep in His bed, wrapped in His arms, while hearing Him tell me how much He loves having His slave in His bed.
That, Is True Love!